He may be the man responsible for bringing Christmas joy to the world – but on Christmas Eve, according to a De Montfort University Leicester law expert, Santa Claus is also guilty of everything from breaching data protection rules to speeding at no less than 650 miles per second.
In fact, according to Professor Kevin Bampton, Head of Leicester De Montfort Law School
, it sounds like Santa should be putting himself on the naughty list, rather than any unruly girls and boys.
Father Christmas is, in fact, a ne’er-do-well Bad Santa who, as revealed in ‘Santa Laws: Red cape or red tape’, is guilty of:
• Avoiding paying tax by living in the North Pole
• Breaking and entering into billions of homes each Christmas Eve
• Disregarding animal welfare laws by forcing reindeer to work in freezing conditions, without recommended rest stops
• Failing to register the carrying of animal by-products (reindeer poo) under EU rules
• Breaching the Data Protection Act and Human Rights Act for failing to inform someone that they are on the naughty/nice database
• Causing emotional and psychological damage by failing to bring children the presents they asked for (Professor Bampton said: “I have been scarred for life after the Action Man I saked for on my 9th birthday was not under the tree”)
• Speeding at 650 miles per second to make his 75.5 million mile trip in 31 hours
• Allowing Rudolph to travel through countries despite having a red nose – a sure fire sign that Rudolph has Infectious Bovine Rhinotracheitis – and therefore failing to carry out a risk assessment or set up a biosecurity programme
• Breaching employment laws for Santa’s Little Helpers
• Carrying unregistered goods across several territories and dropping them off at different people’s homes (very dodgy!)
However Professor Bampton was quick to reassure students and staff that Christmas would not be cancelled this year.
He concluded there wasn’t a court in the land that would want to prosecute Santa and hold him accountable to the letter of the law, because Father Christmas’s work is done with the best possible intentions.
Professor Bampton did, however, sound a warning for Santa if entering American air space.
“There could be an international warrant put out on Father Christmas for these breaches and if that happened and he flew over the US, they would have every right to shoot him down!”, he said.
Posted on Friday 22nd December 2017